Black Knight

You’re gonna LOVE this! In “Black Knight,” Martin Lawrence works at a castle-themed amusement park, and he falls into the moat, and when he comes up out of the water, he’s back in medieval times! And it’s all wild and crazy because, you know, he’s this modern guy — and he’s black! — and he’s back in the time of knights and stuff! And of course, you know Martin Lawrence: He’s so crazy all the time! And so of course the medieval people are, like, “Who’s this guy? Why is he dressed so funny?” But then the amazing twist is that he uses his modern knowledge, like of football and stuff, to help his medieval friends win a battle. Can you believe it? And it’s all so funny ’cause, you know, Martin Lawrence is —

Oh, who am I kidding? It’s spectacularly unfunny, badly acted, and filled with so many contrivances and plot holes, you’d think the three screenwriters each wrote their chunk of the movie without looking at what the others had written.

“Black Knight” is that rare film whose trailer and commercials are perfectly accurate: It is no more or less funny than those previews. If you thought it looked funny in the ads, you’ll think the movie is funny. If you didn’t, you won’t. I didn’t, and I don’t.

F (; PG-13, some profanity, some sexual innuendo.)