Entourage

I never watched HBO’s “Entourage” series, and seeing the movie does nothing to make me want to go back and catch up. Of course, the movie was intended to satisfy current fans, not woo new ones, and maybe those fans will enjoy it. Who knows? All I can do is report that it produced maybe two or three mild chuckles from me, and that I didn’t find any of the characters likable, sympathetic, relatable, funny, or interesting.

My understanding is that the TV show was once a satiric inside look at the nuts and bolts of the Hollywood system. The movie, which picks up right where the series ended and has Vince (Adrian Grenier) directing and starring in an adaptation of “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde,” is less concerned about finding comedy in the Hollywood machine than it is about extending the life of these characters. Vince’s friend and manager, Eric (Kevin Connolly), is about to become a father and has other female-related troubles. Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon), Vince’s half-brother and full-idiot fame barnacle, wants to be taken seriously as an actor. Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) has the hots for fighter Ronda Rousey (as herself). Agent-turned-studio-head Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) has to wrangle more money from “Hyde’s” financiers, a father and son pair of Texas millionaires played by Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Joel Osment.

Also, Ari’s ultra-gay former assistant, Lloyd (Rex Lee), is getting married and wants Ari to give him away. It was nice of the “Entourage” producers — and fitting for the show’s theme, I suppose — to let Lloyd tag along with the movie despite the movie having no use for him. The same could also be said for most of the blink-and-you-miss-them celebrity cameos, which serve only to slow down what little momentum the story has. (Oh, hey, it’s Ed O’Neill! Anything to add, Ed? A joke, maybe, or something to advance the story? No? Nothing? Just stoppin’ by? Well, OK.)

Written and directed by series creator Doug Ellin, this “Entourage” movie is aimless and inert. If it’s a Hollywood satire, it’s toothless. If it’s a character-based comedy, it’s a failure for not coming up with anything particularly funny for the characters to do. If it’s just fan service, meant to give the show’s viewers another 104 minutes with their beloved crew, well, I guess it’s good at that. But it’s bad at being a movie.

D+ (1 hr., 44 min.; R, pervasive harsh profanity and vulgarity, a lot of nudity and strong sexuality.)