I saw a hair-care product whose two main ingredients were henna and placenta. The name of this product: Henna ‘n’ Placenta. Obviously, originality was not a strong suit here.
Please note that the product is not called Henna and Placenta; it is called Henna ‘n’ Placenta. The ‘n’ gives it a much more informal feel, like a ’60s folk duo (“I’m Henna…” “…and I’m Placenta…” “…and we’re Henna ‘n’ Placenta!”). Why you would want to put a placenta in your hair is beyond me, but I’m glad the marketing department didn’t try to hide it from the consumer, which is what I would have done. I would have called it Henna ‘n’ Stuff, or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Placenta.
I wanted to know more about Henna ‘n’ Placenta, so I consulted our friend the Internet. The first logical step was to visit a beauty or hair-care chat room and ask the gals there what women might use Henna ‘n’ Placenta for. (I’m assuming it is not a men’s product. No man I know would put anything in his hair that came from a uterus.) (Well, unless a woman told him to.) I was also curious to know why the company didn’t call it Placenta ‘n’ Henna, like how Kraft used to call their macaroni and cheese, Cheese & Macaroni (“It’s the placenta-iest!”).
But Yahoo! (enthusiasm theirs) doesn’t have any beauty chat rooms. I could infer from this that people who spend time in chat rooms have no use for beauty tips, but I won’t. Anyway, instead I went to a German-language room, not because I speak German, but because I was writing a humor column, and I consider German a funny language. (It’s a good thing World War II ended the way it did. If I were speaking German now, I’d never stop giggling.) At the German chat room, I found this exchange, reprinted here verbatim:
candy4you_00: bin gegangen Uteeeeeeeeeeeee kurz nach dir
donnie_s_2001: JA DAS BIN ICH MIMITITTI
teufelchen_aus_hb: ja mill wo isser denn
jutze: als blumenarragnement
candy4you_00: lol ute
oregonsnow: haste ihn alleine gelassen?
teufelchen_aus_hb: und hanky hast du eine bessere idee
mahee_m: cool
I also noticed a person with the screen name “chrissy_luvs_da_wiggle,” which amused me but didn’t provide any answers. If someone’s name had been “chrissy_luvs_da_henna_’n’_placenta,” well, then we’d have been in business.
Undaunted, I continued my quest. Through the use of a search engine, I found Folica.com: “The Hair Market.” From this site, you can buy all manner of hair-related products, including one that contains ONLY placenta. This leads me to believe henna wasn’t all that useful anyway, like the two guys who hung on Sting like barnacles when he was in the Police.
The site gives this description of placenta: “The most powerful natural protein for the hair instantly restores life and luster to day brittle hair.” I don’t know what “day brittle hair” is, unless they meant “DRY, brittle hair.” Whatever the case, I finally learned why you would smear placenta on your head: It has proteins, and you’re crazy. Hast du eine bessere idee? Cool.