Friday movie roundup - June 15
In this summer of sequels, is any film less-anticipated than “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”? The 2005 original is widely regarded as one of the worst superhero films, and it grossed only $150 million at the box office. (That’s big money to you and me, but for a summer blockbuster franchise, it’s a flop. You may recall that “Spider-Man 3″ made that much in one weekend.) But apparently they felt justified trying again, because here we are with a sequel … and it’s actually quite a bit better. Not quite “good,” but definitely better.
They didn’t screen it until last night in most markets, which is indicative of the amount of faith Twentieth Century Fox has in it. In some places, they had press screenings earlier in the week, but only for “legitimate” critics, i.e., those who write for daily newspapers. People at the weeklies and of course us no-good online critics had to wait until Thursday night, for a promo screening. At the Portland screening, they didn’t even bother taping off seats for the press, like they usually do. That’s how uninterested Fox is in dealing with the critics when it comes to this particular film.
But never fear: When they have something good, they’ll be really nice to us, and ask if we want to do interviews, and set up a press screening well in advance. They will love us again! Just not right now, when their movies blow.
The other major wide release today is “Nancy Drew,” which is pretty good, all things considered. I’ve never read any of the Nancy Drew books. I read several Trixie Belden novels when I was young, though, and I gather they’re similar. Anyone else remember Trixie Belden? She was the Hydrox to Nancy Drew’s Oreo, but I loved her anyway.
Finally, not screened for critics — making it one of Hollywood’s Shameful Secrets® — is “DOA: Dead or Alive.” It is based on a video game, which should tell you something right there. (Historical fact: Not a single movie based on a video game has ever been good. NOT ONE!) It’s about hot chicks who go around beating people up, I think. I’m not even going to pretend to be interested in seeing this movie.
As you are no doubt thoroughly aware, there’s an e-mail that goes out every week called “In the Dark,” with all the latest reviews, DVD releases, and other vital movie info, and you should subscribe if you have not already. There’s also a podcast, which you can listen to here, or subscribe to here.
June 15th, 2007 at 7:14 am
I’m eventually going to end up seeing DOA, although not in the theater, mostly be cause it has Jaime Pressly in it. Sadly, she’s not reprising her role from My Name is Earl, though.
June 15th, 2007 at 8:49 am
Thank you! Finally someone says what I’ve been saying for years - there is no such thing as a good movie out of a video game! Every time I say that someone tries to give me what they think is an exception, and then they say something like, “well HALO is gonna ROCK!!!” Uh, no. It won’t. I think the plot structure necessary to sustain a video game is just inconsistent with what works in a feature film. Or else, maybe the film makers just figure they have a sure thing, what with all the fans of the video game, and just don’t try too hard. I don’t know.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:32 am
DOA is a fun ride in some ways. But the “villain” sucks and his scheme is way dumber than any I have seen in any other film. Seriously, with the urgency the heroes had to stop him, you’d think he was going to destroy the world. His plot seemed really dumb and benign. That, and I can’t imagine having a huge market for what he was doing (I’m not spoiling anything). But ever I, who has enjoyed many a video game movie, can’t recommend this except for the pretty girls.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Tron was awesome!
Though Tron was a fictional security program, not an existing game. In my opinion, arguably that’s an even greater achievement than succeeding with a video game, the whole point of which is to be, you know, fun and engaging.
Try making a movie based on Norton, Excel, or Powerpoint, and see how far you get.
I would love to see a Tetris movie.
Or Excel, actually.
/Stares at Excel all day. Finds it exciting.
June 15th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Video games don’t work as movies because they’re different media and each has its own strengths and weaknesses, particularly when it comes to telling a cohesive story.
It’s like…you know how people always say of movies based on books, “yeah, well, it wasn’t as good as the book”? That’s because books are, by their very nature, better suited to telling involved stories than movies are (9 times out of 10). The mistake the video game movie directors make is trying to turn the plot of a video game into a movie, which usually involves keeping a goofy, convoluted backstory or character models, despite the fact that they are usually hard to swallow on the big screen.
Look at the recent glut of comic book movies. The ones that succeed adhere to the spirit of their source material, while adapting the story to a different medium. Of course, it helps that, like comic books, movies are a visual medium, but a movie that was exactly like the comic book would probably feel really silly and unbelievable. Because that’s just how comic books are!
June 16th, 2007 at 6:14 am
I firmly believe that a “Legend of Zelda” movie could rock. Of course, RPGs, by their very nature, have a lot more storytelling and backstory involved in them from the get-go than, say, “Super Mario Brothers.”
June 16th, 2007 at 8:13 am
On a completely different note: Eric, why is there a pin-up girl on this blog entry?
June 16th, 2007 at 8:15 am
BeeDub, I’m not sure if LoZ would work - especially the later games - but I would definitely go to see it anyway. If for no other reason, becuase the muic would rock. Can you just picture that music done with a real orchestra?
June 16th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Video game movies suck because they try to cater to what they consider their target demographic. DOA appeals to horny teenage boys, because it is well-known that they put a lot of effort to make the breasts bounce “realistically” (read: they bounce a lot more than real ones do, and especially the fake ones that would be required to make a real girl shaped the same as the game characters). Horny teenage boys don’t care about interesting or realistic plots, so this movie succeeds on every level expected of it. Scantily-clad women with fake boobs, kicking butt.
A Zelda movie would suck because it would try to cater to young kids.
June 16th, 2007 at 11:48 am
True story time: I went to see DOA last night with three of my wiseass friends, and since the theater was empty aside from us, we laughed at the movie and made various wisecracks. Only at the very end, as we were getting up to leave, did we notice a middle aged man and come into the theater (just as the film was starting), and had been sitting there for the entire time staring directly at the screen. Creepy.
So what’s the point of this story? DOA is terrible, and I only recommend seeing it if you have some friends to make fun of it with, and look out for creepy middle aged men, I guess.
June 16th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
The first Nancy Drew book is called “The Secret of the Old Clock,” and tells the story of a missing will. Where could the will be? Where, oh WHERE?
I’ll give you a hint. The secret of the old clock is that the will is inside it.
Oh, crud. I gave it away.
Anyway, I read it when I was a kid, and it was the first novel I ever read all in one day. Hmm. Possibly the ONLY novel I read in one day.
As for video game movies, what about Resident Evil, eh? That was a fun little romp.
June 17th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
For Mark A.: I think the pin-up girl is in reference to the silver surfer. In the review of that movie Eric hypothesizes that Stan Lee added a surfing character to the comic book because at the time, (1960’s) all the cool kids were surfing. The pin-up girl illustrates just how sexy surfing was at the time.
June 17th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
I love Trixie Belden. I read my mom’s old books when I was a kid. I work at a bookstore and I just saw that they have released new hardcover editions of the books, or at least the first ten books. Trixie Belden lives on! I always found her less annoying than Nancy Drew. Call me crazy.
June 18th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I love love LOVED!!! Trixie Belden. I loved her so much I named my first dog Trixie.