NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Safe House” (C)
“The Vow” (C)
“Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” (C+)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “The Dungeonmaster” (1984), featuring neither dungeons nor masters. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Masked and Anonymous” (2003), Bob Dylan’s enigmatic vanity project that bored a lot of people. [Film.com]

The Pros and Cons of Seeing “The Phantom Menace” in 3D: A thoughtful essay on this weighty issue. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: No new column this week, but please check out this blog entry, “The state of Snide Remarks address.”

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We launched our Kickstarter campaign to send us to Cannes, reviewed “The Vow,” “Safe House,” and “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island,” and played a game. What more do you want?? [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

A smart young critic named Sam Fragoso interviewed me about my “life” and “work” and “career.” You can listen to it on his website. [Duke & the Movies]

My pal Brian Salisbury made me laugh with his discussion of “Scream Blacula Scream” for his ongoing Junkfood Cinema column. [Film School Rejects]

My other pal William Goss wrote this thoughtful essay about depression, “The Grey,” and “Oslo, August 31st.” [The Hitlist]

My third pal Drew McWeeny wrote an angry and funny column with this title: “An open letter to the worst human being ever to sit in a theater.” [HitFix]

If you love “Breaking Bad” AND you have a valentine, you can’t go wrong with these cards. [The Curious Brain]

Excuse me, waiter, you brought out the February too early. I wasn’t finished with my January yet! No, it’s OK, not a big deal. I’m just saying. Anyway, here’s everything that’s happened in the last couple weeks, linkwise.

SUNDANCE:

At Film School Rejects, my pint-sized platonic lady friend Allison Loring did a Q-and-A with me about my Sundance experiences. Click for the article; stay for the picture of me, which is probably the best picture of me ever taken. [Film School Rejects]

I also showed up for part of the Operation Kino podcast to talk about Sundance with fellow festival-goers Katey Rich and Matt “Patches” Patches. [Cinema Blend]

A dispatch about my first day at Sundance 2012, with movies about sad artists. [Movies.com]

How to be a thoughtless jerk at a film festival screening. [Movies.com]

And here are the Sundance reviews I excreted for Film.com, listed in order from best to least-best:

“Beasts of the Southern Wild” (A-)
“The Raid” (B+)
“Oslo, August 31st” (B+)
“Wrong” (B)
“V/H/S” (B)
“I Am Not a Hipster” (B)
“Red Hook Summer” (B-)
“This Must Be the Place” (D)

* * * * *

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” (C+)
“Red Tails” (C)
“Haywire” (A-)
“Man on a Ledge” (C+)
“The Grey” (B+)
“The Artist” (B+)
“Chronicle” (B-)
“The Woman in Black” (C+)
“The Innkeepers” (B)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Hard Target” (1993), starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, who stars in most of the movies we talk about at Eric’s Bad Movies. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Anatomy of Hell” (2004), an excruciating movie that is still kind of excruciating. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “The Hood Life” (discovering the benefits of hoodies) and “A Game of Quarters” (those sad, weird vending machines).

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Episode 95, postponed by technical difficulties, was extremely loopy and incredibly dumb. Episode 96 was more normal, although that’s relative. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“We Need to Talk About Kevin” (A-)
“Joyful Noise” (C-) [Film.com]

“Contraband,” which has to do with Marky Mark taping drugs to his chest and sneaking them somewhere, or something like that, was screened at the same time as “Joyful Noise.” I chose the one that was closer to my house.

Also, Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” is being re-released in 3D. I assume it’s as good as it was before, only now in 3D.

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Lisa” (1990), a Lifetime Movie Network sort of flick about the dangers of men. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “La Strada” (1954), the one that put Fellini on the map. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “All the Real Girls” (2003), an introspective drama from the man who would later direct “Pineapple Express” and “Your Highness.” [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “Green Hornet,” “The Dilemma,” and more. [Movies.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “A Grimm View of Politics” — Fairy tales for our partisan times.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We talk about “Joyful Noise,” Jeff’s adventures at the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards, and more. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“The Iron Lady” (B-)
“The Devil Inside” (F) [Film.com]
“Pariah” (B)
“Angels Crest” (B)
“Roadie” (C+)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Double Dragon” (1994), which was the second video game movie ever made and helped established the pattern of video game movies being terrible. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “The Public Enemy” (1931), starring James Cagney as the kind of character James Cagney became famous for. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “White Chicks” (2004), a Wayans Brothers movie that has not really improved with age. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Seething Stars” — Let’s make fun of gossip magazines!

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We covered several limited-release films this week, including “The Artist,” “My Week with Marilyn,” and “Carnage,” plus “The Devil Inside.” [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

Here’s everything you might have missed in the second half of December, along with all my end-of-the-year stuff.

END-OF-THE-YEAR STUFF:

The Best and Worst Movies of 2011. Plus miscellaneous data.
Eric’s Media Inventory. What I watched and read in 2011.
All the wide releases of 2011. There were 141 of them. How many did you see? (Note: question is rhetorical.)
2011 film titles: a dramatic reading. On a whim, I composed this playlet in which the dialogue is composed entirely of 2011 movie titles.
My best film-related articles from 2011. These are the Film.com articles that I liked the most.

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“War Horse” (C)
“We Bought a Zoo” (C+)
“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (C+)
“The Adventures of Tintin” (B-)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Standing Ovation” (2010). The most astounding thing about this train wreck is that it actually played in 600 theaters in the summer of 2010. This is why we need to have regulations. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “The Passion of the Christ” (2004). Not nearly as funny as I remembered it. [Film.com]

The Next 35 “Alvin and the Chipmunks” Movie Sequel Titles. I love it when Laremy the editor gives me silly topics like this. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Joseph’s Blog: The Carin’ Carpenter” — An anecdote about poor hospitality

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: The Dec. 23 show had reviews of “We Bought a Zoo,” “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” “The Adventures of Tintin,” and “War Horse,” and the Dec. 30 episode is our 2011 top 10 lists and such. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol” (B+)
“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” (B-) [Film.com]
“Young Adult” (B)
“The Sitter” (D+)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Hunk” (1987), about a dweeb who sells his soul to the devil to become a popular stud. Based on a true story (mine). [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946), a holiday film about the redistribution of angel wings. [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “Tron Legacy,” “Yogi Bear,” and more. [Movies.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We talked about “Mission: Impossible,” “Sherlock Holmes,” “Young Adult,” and the way certain actors are better runners than others. Scintillating! [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“New Year’s Eve” (D-) [Film.com]
“Shame” (B) [Film.com]
“Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” (C+)
“I Melt with You” (D)
“Hugo” (B+)
“Melancholia” (B-)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Under the Cherry Moon” (1986), starring Prince, directed by Prince, enjoyed by no one. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “The Great Escape” (1963), with Steve McQueen jumping a motorcycle over a fence to get away from Nazis. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Pearl Harbor” (2001), a movie (and a B+ review) which will live in infamy. [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader,” “The Tourist,” and more. [Movies.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

“Rocky! The Musical”: Stallone really is producing a live musical version of “Rocky.” When I learned this, I wrote the opening number, to be sung by townspeople. Enjoy. [YouTube]

Snide Remarks: “Indistinguishable, That’s What You Are” — Some products don’t inspire loyalty.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “New Year’s Eve,” “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,” a game of Interquel, and many more treasures. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

Not Just New Movies: Ben and Tyler invited me on to discuss “Cool World” on this week’s podcast. How could I turn that down?? [NJNM]

/Filmcast: Dave, Devindra, and Adam invited me on for “Hugo” talk this week. I never say no to the /Filmcast! No one ever should! [/Film]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

There aren’t any movies this week, because Hollywood has forsaken us. Maybe you should think about what you did wrong.

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Steel Dawn” (1987), a dull post-apocalyptic Western in which Patrick Swayze stars as Patrick Swayze. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “An American in Paris” (1951), in which Gene Kelly dances his way into our hearts with ballet (?!). [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Almost Famous” (2000), a movie whose charms might have faded over the years. [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “The Warrior’s Way,” “Black Swan,” and more. [Movies.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “The Circle K of Life” — The Snider boys’ Christmas tradition

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Our first show outside the warm embrace of Cascadia.fm proves to be uneventful, insofar as nothing caught on fire. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Drew McWeeny points out that “fan fiction” is shaping a lot of our current pop-cultural pleasures, thus giving hope to every fan who dreams of writing for his favorite show. [HitFix]

This chart shows how much of the Science, Discovery, National Geographic, and History channels’ programming is actually dedicated to each channel’s supposed focus. (Hint: not much.) [PhD Comics]

Follow-up: the Kansas governor who demanded an apology from a teenage girl has instead apologized to her for overreacting. Justice! [Yahoo!]

The same picture of Dave Coulier every day. [Tumblr]

In Colorado, a retired county sheriff was arrested for trying to trade meth for sex. That’s newsworthy but unremarkable. What’s remarkable (and awesome) is that he was booked in the jail that was named after him. [Denver Post]

Dancing in a mall while listening to Christmas music on your iPod. The big dopey grin on his face is what sells it. [YouTube]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“The Muppets” (A-)
“Arthur Christmas” (B+) [Film.com]

I don’t have a review of “Hugo.” Here’s why, as explained in this week’s In the Dark email:

Martin Scorsese directed this charming adaptation of the novel “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” — about a young orphan who lives in a Paris train station in the 1920s — and he made it kid-friendly and in 3D. In other words, it’s not much like any of Scorsese’s other movies, except that it’s full of visual style, colorful characters, and entertainment value. So why don’t I have a review of it? SHUT UP, I’M GETTING TO THAT! I was in the process of getting a cold the night I saw it, and I was at the point where I felt headachy and weak: not sick enough to stay home, but sick enough (apparently) to feel dazed and stuporous throughout the film. The 3D, which has been almost universally acclaimed as the best usage of the gimmick so far, only made my headache worse. I know that I like the movie, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable writing a real review un less I saw it again, under better conditions. I will say that while it’s suitable for all ages, kids under about 8 would probably find it too slow.

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “The Net” (1995), starring Sandra Bullock as the hero and the Internet as the villain. [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “Tangled,” “Burlesque,” and more. [Movies.com]

What’s the Big Deal? and Re-Views had the week off.

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: My rejected “Breaking Dawn — Part 1″ screenplay.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We took the week off for Thanksgiving, and to facilitate the transfer from our former home at Cascadia.fm to our new home at MovieBS.com. We’ll have a new show next Friday. iTunes subscribers won’t notice any interruption in service, which is another good reason for you to subscribe to the podcast at iTunes. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Here’s a nice little story about the lady who does the voice-over announcements for a bunch of airports. [YouTube]

This hilarious trailer for “Drive Thru” is only hilarious if you’ve seen “Drive.” So go see “Drive,” then watch this. [Spout]

From the New Yorker, an astute analysis of what’s wrong with the TV show “Whitney.” [New Yorker]

The “Lisa needs braces/Dental plan” remix you’ve been waiting for. [YouTube]

This essay, “The problem with film criticism,” is so full of quotable wisdom that I’m tempted to steal it and put my own name on it. [Dissent]

Statler and Waldorf review the 2011 holiday movies, according to Matt Patches. [Hollywood]

The governor of Kansas got his feelings hurt on Twitter by a teenage girl, so he demanded an apology. Really. [Kansas City Star]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Happy Feet Two” (B-)
“Breaking Dawn — Part 1″ (B-)
“The Descendants” (B+) [Film.com]
“Like Crazy” (A-) [Film.com]
“Immortals” (C)
“The Lie” (B+)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Body of Evidence” (1993), starring Madonna as a woman who may or may not have killed her boyfriend with sex. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “Aguirre, the Wrath of God” (1972), by and about crazy people. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “All About My Mother” (1999), Pedro Almodovar’s breakout hit. [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “Deathly Hallows Part 1,” “The Next Three Days,” and more. [Movies.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: had the week off.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: This was our final show for Cascadia.fm, as the Portland-based Internet radio station has been sold. (Here’s mastermind Robert Wagner explaining it, if you’re interested.) But do not worry! Our podcast will continue! If you subscribe through iTunes, you won’t even notice a difference. If you’ve been listening by going to our page at Cascadia.fm and clicking the “play” button every week, you’ll have to go to MovieBS.com instead, but otherwise nothing will change. Bayer and I want to thank Robert Wagner for giving us a place to do our show for 86 weeks, and to congratulate him on the sale! May he spare our lives when he becomes ruler of all Portland. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

A former employer of mine made the Failblog. How proud they must be! [Failblog]

From the nation of Ghana comes this 30-second trailer for what can only be the most amazing action film of all time. [YouTube]

Film journalist Drew McWeeny had his little boy, Toshi, interview Kermit and Miss Puggy. It’s even more adorable than you can possibly imagine. And kudos to my friend Drew for finding a way to be a cool dad even though he’s a nerd who writes for the Internet! [HitFix]

Here’s a little girl becoming a supervillain. They start so young these days. [YouTube]