Commenters continue to say the darnedest things!

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It’s been far too long since we’ve shined a spotlight on some of the less intelligible comments that people have posted on EricDSnider.com. Here’s a batch, taken mostly from movie reviews.

DUMB COMMENTS POSTED ON ERICDSNIDER.COM

“Romeo Must Die”:

Ummmm Hmmm Thas a Lie I love romeo must Die n always will coz ever1 in ther is ma favourite actors but serioursly man u need to ummm hmmm i don no go ova tha movie and actualli get it from a person that has a lyphe point of view… and then mayb you would come back to earth… just a thought dont take it the heart….

[I believe this comment was written by a kitty cat.]

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In response to a blog entry criticizing Larry the Cable Guy:

Larry The Cable Guy is a great commedian, I was reading through this website and was just starting to think this Eric guy was pretty funny and was a neat site to check out, but then wow bashing on Larry The Cable Guy? Realized he must be an idiot! [If bashing Larry the Cable Guy makes me an idiot, then I guess I’m an idiot…] Are United States Air Force’s slogan is now Git-er done surely that has to mean something to you. [… but if saying “Are Air Force’s slogan” makes YOU an idiot — which it does — then I guess you are, too.] I take it you do not like Ron White either? Am just wondering what it is that makes idiots like you bash on people like this do you not have a sense of humor, or cant handle a few curse words?!?! or nasty jokes then grow up or do not watch it and leave him the hell alone. He has done 5 times as much for this country and are troops then all of you put together!! As Larry would say you make about as much since as bunch of retards trying to fight Jackie Chan … JACK ASS

[I like that he chose a particularly hilarious bit of Larry’s comedy to prove his point. Retards fighting Jackie Chan!! Why, that IS funny!]

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“Snide Remarks” column, “Ask Eric Stuff 21”:

I’m sorry but the comment about not wanting to date cubby girls becasue they’re cubby was kinda pig headed. I hope you just said that becasue you didn’t have something wittier to say, and you’re not really that shallow.

[How does someone read an entire column full of nothing but setups/punchlines, setups/punchlines, and come away from it thinking that one of those punchlines was actually a serious position statement? That’s like someone handing you a big bowl of nothing but lies, and saying, “This is a big bowl of nothing but lies,” and then you picking one lie out at random and saying, “Is this true?” No, stupid, it’s not true. Go lie down.]

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“Nancy Drew”:

this movie is so cute i think nancy is a good robe model and i love her to death she does what she does best and she want stop until it is done she has great dreams and she is very persistant and polite and i think if anybody wants to be like her i highly recamend it and don’t think twice about it because she never did

[Words to live by. Poorly spelled and badly arranged words, but words to live by nonetheless. And yes, Nancy Drew was once a robe model for the Sears catalog.]

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“Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”:
whoever is writting all these review, I am yet to see one that actually has a likeness towards the movie on topic. Instead of critisizing movies, why don’t you just stop watching them all together, or why don’t you just make your ” PERFECT movie by yourself and let me write the [lousy] reviews for you and see how you like it.

[“Whoever is writting all these reviews”? As in, you have no idea who’s writing them? Obviously we need to redesign the site, since causing my name to appear six times per page isn’t doing the trick.]

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“A Knight’s Tale”:

Hey! I aboloutley adore this movie! Heath does great-but in some parts of this movie it is very boring. I love the music- but to me they should be playing mid-evil type music beacuse there was no such thing as ” We will Rocj you” or other songs like that back then. But overall- great movie!

[Not fully evil, like Marilyn Manson. Just mid-evil, like Metallica.]

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“Children of Men”:

After watching this film, I feel like less of a person. I hope and pray that I won’t wake up in the morning. Not because this film ‘broadened my view of the future” simply because I no longer posess the will to live. I fear I may have to once again sit through two hours of utter horse [poop].. And not the nice kind you can use as manure, useless, deseased, maggot ridden crap.

I am now hollow inside, and just a shell of the person I used to be. Dear god, end my suffering. Take me to a better place.

Adios.

[Wow! Just imagine what her reaction would be if she saw a BAD movie!]

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“White Chicks”:

Hey, i think that white chicks is the greatest movie ever! if people want to say bad stuff about this movie u must be pretty retarded. No afence. White chicks is my favourite movie i got it as soon as it came out. i watch it every night before i go to sleep. its such a great movie!!! you gotta love it!!! and. Marcus is my favourite out of the movie runner up is latrol.. how ever u spell it thanks. Samie

[No, Samie. Thank YOU.]

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