Friday movie roundup – July 14

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The movie world is still reeling from last weekend’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Two and a Half Hours,” which has broken about a dozen records since it opened and will surely eviscerate both newcomers this weekend.

Even if the “Pirates” gross is down 75 percent this weekend from last, that’s still $35 million. Neither “You, Me and Dupree” nor “Little Man” will make anything close to that. (Nor should they.)

“You, Me and Dupree” is Owen Wilson’s first time opening a comedy on his own, without being teamed with Jackie Chan or a monkey or something. It’s a movie in which a lot of things go wrong — destruction of property, random fires, etc. Consequently, the woman across the aisle from me at the screening Tuesday constantly reacted vocally as if these events were befalling her rather than fictional characters:

“Oh! Oh no! Oh dear! Ooooh! Oh no! Tsk! Geez! Oh dear!”

I don’t know if she found the movie funny or merely horrifying.

Behind me was one of those people who has to say out loud everything that he thinks. In addition, his wife was apparently both deaf and blind, as he often had to repeat lines of dialogue for her and tell her what various signs and bumper stickers had said.

Here is a list of the things he said out loud during the movie:

– Oh no!
– Paco.
– Short bus.
– Racked his Duprees.
– Do the Dewey.
– There he is.
– No.
– Best man.

But I promise, the talking man and the horrified old woman did not influence my opinion of the movie itself. I was sitting with my critic friends Dawn Taylor and Mike Russell, and I also had some Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts. So everything evened out, external factor-wise.

“Little Man” is every bit as bad as it looks. I urge you to watch the trailer, if you have not already done so. (You can see it here.) It includes the promotional line, “From the guys who brought you ‘White Chicks’!” The sad part is, there are a lot of people for whom that is a selling point. There are people who will say, “This ‘Little Man’ doesn’t look very funny — oh, but it’s the same guys who did ‘White Chicks’! We should give it a chance, then!”

People, “From the guys who brought you ‘White Chicks'” isn’t a selling point! It’s a warning label! Come on!

(Kansas City quote whore Shawn Edwards already said of “Nacho Libre” that “you won’t see a funnier movie all year.” He must have been figuring you wouldn’t see “Little Man,” then, because he has declared it “the wildest, funniest, most hilarious movie of the year.”)

More reviews and box office scores and DVD releases and suchlike can be found in “In the Dark,” my weekly movie e-zine (which is a fancy word for “e-mail”). It’s free and nutritious. Check it out here.

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