More of commenters saying the darnedest things

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Here at EricDSnider.com, we love it when our readers post comments! The fact that some of the comments our readers post are stupid does not diminish our enthusiasm! If nothing else, it provides us with fodder for this occasional feature:

DUMB COMMENTS POSTED ON ERICDSNIDER.COM

“Step Up”:

hi im sherry sieler from caldeon on i ove tyler gag he is sexey her is a kiss for u tyler gage

[Tyler Gage is the fictional main character’s name. Comments like this one are sadly typical in their illiteracy. I’ve actually started deleting some of them when they appear, just because I’m tired of the collective I.Q. of the site dropping every time there’s a movie with a cute boy in it.]

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“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”:

I HATED IT! IT SUCKED! If People Even READ The Book They Would Agree It Sucked. They Left Out Like 99% Of The Whole Story. I’d Like To See How They Try To Shove Everything They Needed Out Of This Part For The Rest Of The Series Into The Movies They Aren’t Supposed To Be In. Stupid Directors.

[Yeah, that’s the problem. The only reason so many people liked the movie version of “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” is that no one ever read the obscure book it was based on.

By the way, this person’s strange system of Capitalizing Every Single Word was mentioned by another poster, causing this one to explain: “I’m Just Used To Typing Like This.” But that begs the question. WHY are you used to typing like that?]

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“Just My Luck”:

April 27th at 1:55 pm
# jackie says:
Does anyone know where to get the dress that Lindsay wore at the masquerade party? Help

May 11th at 10:31 pm
# JACKIE says:
CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHERE TO GET THE DRESS LINDSAY WORE IN JUST MY LUCK FOR THE MASQUERADE?

[This made me LOL. When no one answered Jackie’s unanswerable question, she assumed it was because they just couldn’t hear her. So she came back and yelled it.]

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“The Last Mimzy”:

I am a indigo children and I really wana now if aINDIGO CHILD CAN DO THINS LIKE THAT BECAUSE LIKE IN THE MOVIE I CLOSE MI EYES AND JUST LET GO MY HAND DO THE REST AND WHEN IM FINISHED I JUST OPEN MY EYES AND I SAW THE DRAW AND ITS JUST SOMETHING WEIRD BUT LIKE IT HAVE SHAPES.O AND Y FEEL SOMTIMES THAT WHEN SOMEONE SAY WHATEVER Y JUST NOW WHAT HES GOING TO SAY AND I REMEMBER THE PLACE LIKE A DREAM.WHEN I WAS MORE LITTLE Y THINK IN THINS And the happened.i have12 years i now i have some errors becouse im from Puerto Rico and we speak spanish

[The Puerto Rican thing explains the flawed English grammar (which is still better than that of many American teens). It does not explain why he think he’s a psychic.]

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“Becoming Jane”:

nudity in a film about Jane Austin…have the drectors read her work? Are they familiar with her at all, or just riding coat tails and not creative enough to think of anything but pride and prejudice?

This movie is not for people who are Jane Austin fans.

[Also not for Jane Austen fans: spelling her name correctly.]

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“El Cantante”:

[Replying to another comment.]I believe you have some good points in your comments, but you blew it when you used the words ” stupid people” more than once in your writing. For your edification, I believe you shouldn’t be so redondent because that makes you sound “stupid.” LOL

[Mr. Kettle, there’s a Mr. Pot on the line.]

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“War”:

Wow you talk alot of crap for someone who doesn’t care. Your reviews are flawed. This coming from a guy who gave bourne ultimatum a B+. Bourne ultimatum is crap compared to this movie. I mean the plot for this movie wasn’t perfect, but the action was awesome. Why Bourne ultimatum was crap? It was 98% special effects and camera action was annoyingly aggressive to take it serious. Matt damon didn’t have personality or ability to act either!

Your pretty much an idiot to give this movie a D+. The action is better than any action movie this year , from the car chase, motorcycle chases, martial arts and gun shooting scenes, were top notch. This is easily better than Transporter, war is stathams best movie. Jet li was awesome too.

If you think you’re so much of an expert, lets see you become a director of this movie and see if anyone would watch your movie. Direct any movie for that matter. Critics think they’re experts now. But all they are r idiots. Truth hurts doesn’t it?

[Ah — the sharp sting of truth. How it cuts me to the quick.]

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“Bratz”:

ok, first your review is CRAP! how dare you say the film was rubbish, just because your head is too far up ur backside dont go making everyone else dilike it too. and it means your cant see a good film when it comes out. i think your review is horrible. you should not make a movie sound bad just because you dont like it dont you think thats a bit selfish??????????? and i have seen the movie i think it is brillent, exactly like school (seeing as at the moment i am at school and i know exactly what school is like) its a childrens film for crist sake. have you doubted lion king for being able to talk or sleeping beauty for ‘unrealistic magic’ er i think NOT!!!!! and your pathetic comment about not learning everything about the characters straight awat then let me tell you that if you did get all the details straight away then there would be no story. what do u wana do, egt them to make a speech about who they are anmd where they come from. next time if your gona say something then be nice.

love (an extreamally angry) Robyn xxx

[Oh, Robyn xxx. How I envy your youth, your passion, and your inability to recognize a big pile of poo even as it’s funneled down your throat.]

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“Tae One On,” a column I wrote in 1991 — 16 years ago — about a local martial arts studio:

Hey, Eric your a complete moron!!! I know the master there and he is great teacher. Unintelligent you say? [Uh, no. The word I used was “unintelligible.”] Your about as smart as his left foot. Why dont you try a class or two, you wouldn’t be able to keep up even for 30 mins. It takes years to perfect Taekwondo you idiot? Your not going to get it by watching one class. Anyway you and your boyfriend probably have better things to do like shopping at the mall or something. Ive taken Taekwondo for 15 years and still love it! A dumb-ass like you would know nothing about it so stop writing YOU BORE ME !!!!

[So stop writing YOU BORE ME!]

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