Movie Review: "If I Stay" C August 29, 2014
"Sometimes you make choices in life, and sometimes choices make you." So says an actual character in "If I Stay," which is a real movie. It's the kind of aphorism that sounds deep until you think about it, and "If I Stay," which is based on a novel for teenage girls (I'm sorry, "young adults"), is likewise the kind of movie whose profundity evaporates as soon as two or three neurons are fired in its direction.
Movie Review: "The Congress" B August 28, 2014
[In theaters and Video on Demand.]
Movie Review: "What If" B- August 15, 2014
"What If" doesn't exactly put a new spin on the tired romantic-comedy formula -- and the meaningless, arbitrarily assigned title doesn't help -- but it does apply enough wit and relatable human behavior to the formula to make it recommendable, which is more than you can say for most rom-coms.
Movie Review: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)" C- August 15, 2014
Long ago, in the closing decades of the 20th century, there was a children's cartoon, based on a comic book, called "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," in which a quartet of grotesque reptilian vigilantes lived in a sewer and fought criminals under the direction of a wise rat. There were a few live-action movies based on these characters, all of them (the movies) rancid.
Movie Review: "The Expendables 3" D+ August 15, 2014
The point (such as it was) of the first two "Expendables" movies was to feature an all-star cast of action heroes past and present killing bad guys and blowing things up. The films took themselves too seriously overall, but you got the sense Stallone and his gnarled, wrinkly friends understood and embraced the scenario's inherent camp value. They were in on the joke.
Movie Review: "Into the Storm" C- August 14, 2014
"Into the Storm" is the story of various idiots who team up to observe closely/flee in terror from a massive series of tornadoes in Oklahoma and environs. A few of the idiots are professional storm chasers, played by the likes of Matt Walsh ("Veep"), Sarah Wayne Callies ("The Walking Dead"), and Jeremy Sumpter ("Friday Night Lights"). A few more idiots come from a town in the storms' path, where the high school graduation ceremony is going ahead as scheduled. These include a lovestruck junior named Donnie (Max Deacon), his brother Trey (Nathan Kress), and their father (Richard Armitage), who for maximum convenience is also the vice principal. Finally, there are two idiot hillbillies named Donk and Reevis (Kyle Davis, Jon Reep) who hope to get YouTube famous by following nadoes in their truck (labeled "TWISTA HUNTERZ") and filming themselves doing dangerous things with them. It's PG-13, so don't expect to see as many deaths of irritating characters as you'd like to.
Eric's Blog August 2, 2014
[Also on Movie B.S. this week, a round of Jeff & Eric's Excellent Adventure, involving time travel.]
Movie Review: "Calvary" B August 1, 2014
Let us stipulate that the wide-faced, twinkly-eyed Irish actor Brendan Gleeson is an under-appreciated thespian who improves every movie he appears in, whether you know his name or not. (Fine, he played Mad-Eye Moody in the Harry Potters.) It is no small thing, then, to say that his compassionate and multi-faceted performance in the gut-punching "Calvary" is particularly good, even for him. Onscreen almost every minute of the film, he bears its weight as skillfully as his character, an Irish village priest, carries the troubles of his parishioners.
Movie Review: "Guardians of the Galaxy" B August 1, 2014
If it weren't for the Marvel label and some minor characters teased in previous films, you'd never know "Guardians of the Galaxy" had anything to do with any superheroes. This is a sci-fi comedy about a group of space rogues of assorted alien races, more "Galaxy Quest" than "The Avengers." (That's not a criticism, merely an observation.)
Miscellaneous August 1, 2014
By Craig Frenton
The last 60 days:
- And So It Goes D
- Boyhood A-
- Calvary B
- The Congress B
- Dawn of the Planet of the Apes B
- The Expendables 3 D+
- Guardians of the Galaxy B
- Hercules (2014) C
- If I Stay C
- Into the Storm C-
- Land Ho! B-
- Lucy C
- Magic in the Moonlight C+
- A Most Wanted Man B
- The Purge: Anarchy C
- Sex Tape C
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) C-
- What If B-
- Wish I Was Here D+