Movie Review:
"The Innkeepers"
(B) February 3, 2012
Where the only guests are the ghosts
Ti West isn't through with spooky edifices yet. He returns, after his slow-burning "The House of the Devil," with "The Innkeepers," a very different kind of horror film. While "House of the Devil" was a tense homage to the babysitters-in-peril bloodbaths of the late '70s and early '80s, "The Innkeepers" is casually hip, a product of the Whatever generation. Perhaps fittingly, it doesn't add up to much, and that's disappointing. But it's a lot of fun along the way.
Movie Review:
"The Woman in Black"
(C+) February 3, 2012
Harry Potter and the Deathly Boredom
The first discernible line of dialogue in "The Woman in Black" is an offscreen mother wailing, "Aaaahhh! My babies!" Her "babies" -- young girls, actually, but we'll cut the mother some semantic slack during her time of grief -- have just met a mysterious and untimely end. The movie has thus established that it is to be an old-style melodrama with histrionics, creepy children, and simple ghost stories. You understand the tone even more when you know it's set at the turn of the last century in a cobwebbed English mansion near a village populated by superstitious provincials.
Movie Review:
"Chronicle"
(B-) February 3, 2012
Even superpowered teens need curfews
There have been dozens of "found footage" or faux-documentary movies in the 13 years since "Blair Witch Project," but never has that narrative device felt more forced and unnecessary than in "Chronicle." It's like they had a perfectly good idea for a traditional movie but for some reason had to shoot it this way, maybe because they lost a bet, or got drunk and accepted a dare.
Movie Review:
"The Artist"
(B+) February 1, 2012
Silent comedy about the end of silents
Nothing about "The Artist" is transcendent or brilliant. A frothy, upbeat tale of old Hollywood, it's clever but not particularly innovative, different but not unique, funny but not hilarious. Yet as frothy, upbeat tales of old Hollywood go, it's superb, full of small delights and general sunshine.
Movie Review:
"The Grey"
(B+) February 1, 2012
Man versus nature, Liam versus lobo
As appealing as the idea may sound, "The Grey" is not a movie about Liam Neeson punching wolves. I'm not saying he doesn't punch any wolves in the movie, nor am I saying that he does; the point is, that's not the point. In this bleak and frigid survival thriller, directed by Joe Carnahan ("Narc," "The A-Team") and based on a short story by Ian Mackenzie Jeffers, the wolves are only a metaphor anyway. They represent death, despair, or fear -- anything that might cause a person to give up. (I guess they could represent wolves, too, but that's not as common to the human experience.)
Snide Remarks: "A Game of Quarters" January 31, 2012
Those sad, weird vending machines
Several years ago some friends of mine thought it might be profitable to own and maintain a bunch of vending machines placed at local businesses. These were not the big, refrigerator-sized machines with dozens of candy options, but the small, single-item ones, the kind where you put a quarter in the slot, crank the knob, and get a handful of Skittles or whatever. It must only be children who use those machines, right? Adults usually don't ingest food products that came out of a germ-ridden plastic drum and were delivered without any packaging directly into their sweaty hands.
Movie Review:
"Man on a Ledge"
(C+) January 27, 2012
There is definitely a man on a ledge
Sam Worthington plays the man in "Man on a Ledge." He might have been better cast as the ledge. Previously foisted upon us in "Avatar," "Terminator: Salvation," and "Clash of the Titans," Worthington is the world's dullest up-and-coming action star, and "Man on a Ledge" shows him in no danger of relinquishing that title. But there are interesting people around him in the film, an unambitious but competent heist thriller directed by documentarian Asger Leth ("Ghosts of Cite Soleil") that also features Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, and Ed Harris. The result is dumb, easy-to-swallow fun, more or less -- the sort of movie that makes people say, "Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."
Movie Review:
"Haywire"
(A-) January 20, 2012
Fun with punching, kicking, and snark
You know, when someone decided that mixed martial arts champion Gina Carano should be a movie star, it would have been easy to showcase her fighting skills in some brainless, slapped-together action flick. That's been the practice with plenty of other athletes-turned-actors, and it makes a certain amount of business sense. Why waste a good screenplay and a good director on someone who might not be a good actor?
Movie Review:
"Red Tails"
(C) January 20, 2012
A bland disservice to those who served
With the 1995 HBO film "The Tuskegee Airmen" already well-regarded as the definitive account of the U.S. Army's first squad of black fighter pilots, you have to wonder what purpose is served by "Red Tails," which covers much of the same territory and does so without distinction or flavor. Made by TV director Anthony Hemingway (his big-screen debut) with some help from executive producer George Lucas, "Red Tails" looks more like a TV movie than the TV movie did, and is disappointingly shallow. A true story as inspiring as this one deserves a more insightful treatment.
Movie Review:
"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"
(C+) January 19, 2012
What 9/11 was like for Asperger's kids
The 9/11 terrorist attacks may eventually serve as source material or inspiration for dozens of movies, fact-based and fictional, just as World War II and the Kennedy assassination have. But so far, with only a few exceptions, filmmakers have been hesitant to address the subject directly. To their credit, they've been even more cautious about using 9/11 as the background for a story that didn't need to be about 9/11. Ten years later, the general policy is still that movies don't mention 9/11 explicitly unless there's a good reason for it.
Movie Reviews
The last 60 days:
-
The Adventures of Tintin
B-
PG 12/21/11
-
Angels Crest
B
R 12/30/11
-
Carnage
C+
R 12/16/11
-
Chronicle
B-
PG-13 02/03/12
-
The Devil Inside
F
R 01/06/12
-
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
C+
PG-13 12/25/11
-
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
C+
R 12/21/11
-
The Grey
B+
R 01/27/12
-
Haywire
A-
R 01/20/12
-
I Melt with You
D
R 12/09/11
-
The Innkeepers
B
R 02/03/12
-
The Iron Lady
B-
PG-13 12/30/11
-
Joyful Noise
C-
PG-13 01/13/12
-
Man on a Ledge
C+
PG-13 01/27/12
-
Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol
B+
PG-13 12/16/11
-
New Year's Eve
D-
PG-13 12/09/11
-
Pariah
B
R 12/28/11
-
Red Tails
C
PG-13 01/20/12
-
Roadie
C+
R 01/06/12
-
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
B-
PG-13 12/16/11
-
The Sitter
D+
R 12/09/11
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Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
C+
R 12/09/11
-
War Horse
C
PG-13 12/25/11
-
We Bought a Zoo
C+
PG 12/23/11
-
We Need to Talk About Kevin
A-
R 12/09/11
-
The Woman in Black
C+
PG-13 02/03/12
-
Young Adult
B
R 12/09/11
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