May 27th, 2016
It’s a holiday weekend, y’all! To help you enjoy it, most of the new movies aren’t very good so you don’t need to see them. Here’s what we have:
— “X-Men: Apocalypse” (PG-13) C+
— “Alice Through the Looking Glass” (PG) D
— “The Ones Below” (R) B
— “Pelé” (PG) C
That’s more or less what we talked about on this week’s episode of Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider. We also played a game of Character Casserole, the sensation that’s sweeping the nation.
“Pearl Harbor” came out 15 years ago this week. I did a time capsule thing for Movies.com. (Here’s my original review, and here’s where I reconsidered it 10 years later.) (Side note on that last link: I wrote for Film.com, not MTV. MTV’s parent company bought Film.com and its catalog of content, shut down the site, and ported the old material over to the MTV site. I am not cool enough to write for MTV.)
I also wrote about “Grosse Pointe Blank” for Mental Floss.
Have a great weekend, if you want to.
May 20th, 2016
Sup, bros and sisses? I baked up a big pot of reviews for you. Here they are, listed in order of the age of their top-billed star, from oldest to youngest:
— “The Meddler” (PG-13) B+
— “A Bigger Splash” (R) B
— “The Nice Guys” (R) B+
— “The Angry Birds Movie” (PG) D-
— “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising” (R) B+
This week’s episode of Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider covers those same films (except “The Meddler,” which we hit last week), plus listeners’ ideas for other app-based movies.
At Mental Floss, I wrote about “Pan’s Labyrinth.” Did you know that movie freaked Stephen King out? Well, it did. Read the article and find out more things, if you want.
As always, subscribe to In the Dark to have new reviews and recommendations emailed to you each week (one email a week, no spam). And please also consider my Patreon campaign, whence comes the funds to support my movie-reviewing habit. Thank you!
May 13th, 2016
Hey hey! What’s cookin’, Smokey? Here are this week’s reviews (and last week’s, since somebody forgot to post this last week):
— “Captain America: Civil War” (PG-13) B
— “The Man Who Knew Infinity” (PG-13) C+
— “Money Monster” (R) C
— “The Darkness” (PG-13) D+
On this week’s Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, we review “Money Monster,” “Being Charlie,” (C) and “The Meddler” (B+). Written review of that last one soon to come. We also revealed the stakes of this year’s Summer Box Office Challenge, and talked about incidents from our lives that would make good movies. (And monkeys. There was some talk of monkeys.)
At Mental Floss, I wrote a piece on “My Own Private Idaho,” plus a feature on 10 past Cannes winners that you can watch online right now.
Subscribe to In the Dark to have new reviews and recommendations emailed to you each week. And please consider my Patreon campaign, which is the oil that greases the review-writing machine. Thanks to one and all, but especially to YOU.
April 29th, 2016
Reviews! Piping hot reviews! Get ’em while they’re piping and/or hot! I will list them in order from best to worst:
— “Sing Street” (PG-13) A-
— “Keanu” (R) B-
— “The Huntsman: Winter’s War” (PG-13) D
— “Mother’s Day” (PG-13) F
On Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, we reviewed those movies (except “The Huntsman,” that was last week) and made our selections for the 2016 Summer Box Office Challenge. It’s our sixth year doing this contest, and Bayer is ahead, 3-2. I think I’ve got it this time, though.
At Mental Floss, I wrote about “Gangs of New York” (2002) and “The Philadelphia Story” (1940).
Be sure to subscribe to In the Dark, and check out my Patreon. A dollar a month is all we ask. A dollar! That’s barely even a dollar.
April 22nd, 2016
The only new wide release this weekend is “The Huntsman: Winter’s War” (D), an unsolicited sequel to “Snow White and the Huntsman.” It’s bad — uninspired, bland, pointless. We reviewed it on Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, and I’ll write a review soon, but in the meantime, there you go.
But there are other movies to see! To wit:
— “Green Room” (R) A- (Only on about 30 screens nationwide right now, but watch for it, it’ll come around. Also, we interviewed the director and star on Movie B.S.)
— “Elvis & Nixon” (R) B+ (Playing in almost-wide release. And the R rating is for five uses of the F-word and nothing else, so maybe ignore that.)
— “The Invitation” (NR) B+ (In a few theaters and also VOD through Amazon, iTunes, etc.)
— “Standing Tall” (R) B (Warning: French.)
Over at Mental Floss, I wrote:
— 14 Up-Tempo Facts About “Saturday Night Fever”
Sign up for In the Dark, my weekly email of new reviews and movie recommendations, here. And don’t forget Patreon, the magic that makes it all possible. Thanks, everybody!
April 15th, 2016
BAM! Three new wide releases this week, and I have reviews of all of them! Just like the old days.
— “Barbershop: The Next Cut” (PG-13) B-
— “Criminal” (R) C+
— “The Jungle Book” (PG) B-
I mean, I wish the movies were better, but you can’t have everything.
On Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, we talked about those three, plus “Everybody Wants Some!!” (B-) and “The Invitation” (B+). I’ll definitely be writing a review of “The Invitation,” which is in limited release and VOD.
April 8th, 2016
Happy springtime, everyone! Here are the reviews I’ve posted since the last time I rounded them up, listed from longest title to shortest:
— “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (PG-13) C-
— “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” (PG-13) C
— “Pee-wee’s Big Holiday” (Netflix) (TV-PG) B-
— “Midnight Special” (PG-13) B
— “Meet the Blacks” (R) D+
— “Hardcore Henry” (R) D
— “The Boss” (R) C
— “Hush” (Netflix) (R) B+
You’ll notice two of those are on Netflix, not in theaters. This is the new world we live in, where “straight to video” or “straight to Netflix” no longer means the movie is bad (necessarily). I reviewed “Pee-wee’s Big Holiday” specifically because one of my Patrons asked me to, hint hint.
Over at Mental Floss, I’ve cobbled together some interesting facts about the following classic movies, for your edification:
— “All the President’s Men” (1976)
— “Bonnie and Clyde” (1967)
— “La Dolce Vita” (1960)
— “North by Northwest” (1959)
— “The Wild Bunch” (1969)
This week on Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, we review “The Boss,” “Hardcore Henry,” “Demolition” (C+), and “Mr. Right” (C-).
March 18th, 2016
Howdy, pardners. There isn’t much to round up this week, on account of I was in Austin for South By Southwest and missed the screening of “Allegiant,” part 3 (?) in the “Divergent” series. The first film was mediocre, and I didn’t see (or even have any memory of the existence of) the second one, so I will probably skip this new one, at least for now. Maybe I’ll catch them all before the final (?) one comes out next year (?).
Anyway, I think you already know if you want to see “Allegiant” and don’t need me to tell you.
I do have a review of “The Bronze” (R) C+, which premiered at Sundance last year. It squanders a perfectly serviceable premise. Let us never speak of it.
On Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, we review “10 Cloverfield Lane” and “The Brothers Grimsby.” (The latter: ugh. I’d say I enjoyed about 90 seconds of it, total, and actually laughed quite hard twice. But the rest: ugh.) We also talk about the movies we liked at SXSW.
Speaking of which, I wrote two SXSW reviews for Vanity Fair, like the fancy lad that I am:
— “Hush” (R) B+
— “In a Valley of Violence” (R) B-
UPDATE: Plus two for Film School Rejects:
— “War on Everyone” (NR yet) B
— “My Blind Brother” (NR yet) B
March 11th, 2016
Ahoy-hoy. If you missed last week’s Friday Movie Roundup, well, so did I. Just plumb forgot it. I have included those reviews with this week’s, listed here in order of running time (shortest to longest).
— “Hello, My Name Is Doris” (R*) B+
— “London Has Fallen” (R) C
— “10 Cloverfield Lane” (PG-13) A-
— “Zootopia” (PG) B+
— “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” (R) B
*Ignore this. It’s a sweet, funny movie with a handful of F-words and some mild sexuality. It’s PG-13.
Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider is off this week. That’s because of the four movies opening in wide release today, only “10 Cloverfield Lane” screened for critics (and we missed it because of our South By Southwest travels). The other films — “The Young Messiah,” “The Brothers Grimsby,” and “The Perfect Match” — are what we call Hollywood’s Shameful Secrets. I’ll catch “Grimsby” soon for sure; we’ll see about the others.
I’ll be at SXSW through Wednesday. Keep an eye on my Twitter feed if you want updates. We put movie titles in ALL CAPS on Twitter (italics not available; quotation marks waste precious characters), so it’s easy to skip the other things I tweet about and just skim for movie tweets.
February 26th, 2016
Reviews! Get yer pipin’ hot reviews here! I’ll list the movies in order from most good to least good.
— “The Witch” (R) A-
— “Eddie the Eagle” (PG-13) B+
— “Race” (PG-13) B-
— “How to Be Single” (R) B-
— “Touched with Fire” (R) C
— “Gods of Egypt” (PG-13) D
I’ve also seen but have not yet reviewed “Risen” (it’s good — so-so as a sermon, but quite solid as a movie); “Triple 9” (utterly mediocre dirty-cop crime drama); and “Where to Invade Next” (Michael Moore gets in his own way, but it’s a cheery, optimistic movie about possible solutions to America’s problems).
On Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, we review “Eddie the Eagle,” “Triple 9,” and “Gods of Egypt.”
At Mental Floss, I wrote up 13 facts about “The Maltese Falcon.” I enjoy researching and writing all of these, but this one was particularly enlightening (#5 especially).
Over at my Patreon, I’m still working toward the goal of reviewing every single wide release that comes out. I’m going to add some other Milestone Goals soon, too. Thanks to everyone who’s been contributing!