It’s kind of fun to have Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com be thematically linked to one of the week’s new releases. If nothing else, it helps me choose subjects for the column, a process that would otherwise be fairly random. So this week, in vague conjunction with the new animated “Ice Age” movie hitting theaters, Eric’s Bad Movies deals with “The Care Bears Movie,” which hit theaters 24 years ago and became the most lucrative non-Disney animated feature up to that point. That wasn’t much of a feat, since hardly anyone besides Disney even tried animation in those days, but still.

I seem to be doing a lot of children’s movies lately in Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com. That’s probably because so many children’s movies are awful. The people who make them seem to think that since kids are their target audience, that means the movies don’t have to make sense. Note that Michael Bay follows the same policy, and is rewarded for it. Michael Bay thinks of his fans the same way the makers of bad kids’ movies think of kids. Ponder that, “Transformers” defenders.

Used to be that the Fourth of July was a huge time at the box office, especially when it fell on a weekend. But this year’s dominator, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” opened a week early, leaving Independence Day week to suffer. I’m pretty sure this is Obama’s fault. I hear he’s coming for my guns, too.

Anywhom, the kids can see “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” (review at Film.com) if they want to. Or not. Won’t make any difference either way. And grown-ups might enjoy “Public Enemies,” starring Johnny Depp as notorious bank robber and murderer John Dillinger.

In limited release, there’s “Adoration,” a solid drama from Canadian filmmaker Atom Egoyan. And hey, happy Canada Day! Whatever that is!

All the homies and fly girls love me on Twitter.

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No doubt you are already well aware of the presence of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” at your local multiplex, but there’s my review anyway.

Opening today as “counterprogramming” (i.e., for people with ovaries) is “My Sister’s Keeper” (review at Film.com), about a girl who was conceived solely as spare parts for her cancer-stricken sister who is tired of donating blood and organs to her. What’s hilarious is that I’m not even exaggerating. That really is what the movie is about.

In limited release: Woody Allen’s latest, “Whatever Works” (review at Film.com), featuring Larry David in the Woody Allen role; and “Easy Virtue,” a delightfully droll Noel Coward adaptation starring Colin Firth and Kristin Scott Thomas.

What about Twitter? Huh? Have you considered that?

To sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine, which brings you all the new movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info in one handy weekly e-mail, visit this page.

In honor of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” now deafening audiences in theaters everywhere, Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com this week features “Power Rangers: The Movie.” The posters and other promotional material for the film referred to it by its TV show title, “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie,” but the actual onscreen title drops the “Mighty Morphin” part. I am forced to conclude that while the Power Rangers were mighty and could morph on TV, they did not have these attributes in cinemas.

This week’s SR®, “Ribald for Your Pleasure,” is available for perusal. And what do you know, so is a new edition of Eric’s Time Capsule at Film.com, celebrating the 27th birthday of John Carpenter’s “The Thing.” This groundbreaking horror film spawned many sequels, including “The Item,” “The Stuff,” and “The What’s-It-Called.”

And hey, what do you also know, I forgot to pimp last week’s edition of Eric’s Ten-Year Itch at Film.com, which addressed Disney’s “Tarzan,” one of the first films I reviewed for the newspaper I worked at in those days, whatever it was called.

And hey, that’s it.

Mmm… Twitter….

This week’s “Snide Remarks,” including the audio version, is here.
The audio version (i.e., the podcast) is also here.
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Hollywood has dropped its pants and befouled cinemas with two pungent piles of movie poop this week.

One is “The Proposal,” of which the best that can be said is that it’s not quite as suicide-inducingly awful as it looks. Strangely, I seem to have written about this movie twice already, once when I mocked a flier for a screening of it (that’s the screening I attended, by the way), and once when I imagined what the pitch meeting for it was like.

The other bad new release is “Year One” (review at Film.com), which actually had the potential to be good, given its cast and behind-the-scenes pedigree. Sadly, it’s an unfunny, desperate mess.

In limited release is a Norwegian splatter film called “Dead Snow” (review at Cinematical), about young people in a remote cabin who are menaced by zombies — Nazi zombies, as it happens. It’s not as good as you’d hope, given that premise.

Woody Allen’s “Whatever Works” opens in limited release today, too, but I won’t have a review until next week. A friend of mine in Orlando said it’s not screening for critics there because, according to the publicist, the filmmaker only approved screenings for certain critics and certain markets. Right, because who ever heard of a Woody Allen movie doing well in South Florida?

Sometimes I Twitter things.

To sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine, which brings you all the new movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info in one handy weekly e-mail, visit this page.

First of all, you got your “Red Sonja” over at Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com. It stars Brigitte Nielsen in her breakout performance. Do you ever sit around remembering your favorite Brigitte Nielsen performances? I know I do.

And hey, while I’ve got your attention, here are the various things I wrote about the CineVegas Film Festival, some of which might amuse and/or irritate you:

- A wrap-up of the movies that played there (Film.com).
- Reviews of “Mercy,” “Easier with Practice” (which won the Grand Jury Prize), and “Redland” (Cinematical).
- On-the-scene reports about opening night, promotional items, and a Jack Nicholson impersonator (Cinematical).

Good day to you! CineVegas is pretty high-energy this year. What was once a nine-day schedule has been collapsed into five days, so everybody’s hoppin’ like a frog that’s been dropped onto a Las Vegas sidewalk at 2 p.m. on a June afternoon.

My travels prevented (saved?) me from seeing Eddie Murphy’s “Imagine That,” so no review. But I did see “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3,” which is kind of generic. My review is at Film.com.

Your better options are making the rounds in limited release. “Away We Go,” starring Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski (Jim from “The Office”) is a sweet and funny semi-satire of new parenthood. “Moon” is a smart and suspenseful sci-fi film about a man (Sam Rockwell) who works on the titular satellite. And “Valentino: The Last Emperor” is about the renowned fashion designer. It more or less passes the “am I interested in this movie even though I have no interest whatsoever in the subject matter?” test.

On teh Twitters? Me too!

To sign up for the “In the Dark” e-zine, which brings you all the new movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info in one handy weekly e-mail, visit this page.

Quick post! Super-busy! Covering the CineVegas Film Festival for Cinematical! No time for personal pronouns or complete sentences! Open all night! All-nude revue!

Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com: “The Neverending Story III,” a children’s film that ranges from bad to terrible depending on which scene you watch and how closely you think about it. Compare with Eddie Murphy’s “Imagine That,” opening tomorrow, which I haven’t seen but which I assume is bad, given the presence of Eddie Murphy and my skeptical nature.

For fun, sometimes I like to read the letters to the editor published in the Deseret News (in Salt Lake City) and the Daily Herald (in Provo, Utah). These papers have a lot of readers who are uptight, self-righteous, and/or insane, and like most uptight, self-righteous, and/or insane people, they are eager to broadcast it. Here are a few letters from recent days.

Deseret News, May 31:

I’m sure I won’t be the only reader responding to your article on profanity. I couldn’t believe the first sentence about “beating the crap out of …”

Perhaps you don’t think this word qualifies as profanity. That is inexcusable. Especially considering the subject of the article. If this word was used to shock those who read the piece, it is no different than screenwriters who put such words into movie and television scripts.

Barbara A. Lyman
American Fork

Barb employs two of the hallmarks of the self-righteous letter. First, she says she’s sure she won’t be the only one to complain — in other words, “Surely my opinion is widely held! Surely I am not in the fringe!” Then she says that if you don’t think “crap” is profanity, that’s “inexcusable” — in other words, “If you disagree with me, YOU are the wrong one, because this is a black-and-white issue with a clear-cut right answer, and I’m right.”

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